Kalyn say I very long no update blog -.- Everyday work no life again, what I can blog?

I got alot of things to blog, but is my stress again... Dont think anyone interested LOLX! But still will blog larhx~~~

I really dont feel like carry on my life, sometime I keep asking myself, what the hell am I doing? What do I want? ENd up, tears start to flow out. I feel that Im really a useless person. Someone with nothing just an empty shell. No support at all...

I dont know why I cant find someone to talk everything out. I start to hate myself. I still dont know why Im doing all those thing? But I only know, I feel happy when Im spending money and blast loud music into my ear.

I still cant search myself out. I dont know why, I always reject people offer-.- When we get so close, suddenly I start to move away. What am I worry or scare about?? Today, I look through my contact list, yea, there may have lots of friends contact number, but I yet to find someone to talk to or even ask for help.

Im really tired. I dont wish to have this life. I wonder how people able to make friends, I do able to make friends, but later the friendship will slowly fade away, reason is, I move back step by step whenever they get close to me.

I really jealous my brother, he wants to learn eletrical guitar, my dad allow him, I remember once, my brother want to go out with his friend, my dad still can ask him "How much you want" somemore is right in front o me! He only 13 years old! And they ask him that. I remember last time I want go out, dad will reply "No money then dont go out larhx" Really hurt me. Then everytime say the same thing.

I dont know if relatives told me is true, they say my parent do love me, but dont know how to show. And they keep saying my brother still young thats why this and that. My brother steal away the love my parent should give me. I always jealous at those girls whose parent treat them like princess while I like slave.

They keep say I never give household money this and that, but did they ever think that, I at least, AT LEAST treat them something or even buy things for them like my brother and especially my mum!! And plus, whenever she go out with her friends, IM THE ONE PAYING FOR DINNER!!!

Im not any smart person, I dont earn much, and I dont have perm job, and I have to PAY FOR ALL MY NEEDS, like handphone bills, my pets supplies, and daily allowance!! And now I even pay for stuffs that I want just to bu chang my sadness!

Last time, whenever I want something, I cant get it. Now cant I have my choice to spend money on stuffs I want?? I know I sometime anyhow spend. But at least I never waste on the stuffs, I did really use them! Am I wrong?

Now is what year liaox. Can stop using your year derhx rules on me?? I know last time people start to work at 16years old or maybe earlier, and give their parent their money or what! But now, cant I have some happy moment?? CAN EVERYONE STOP STRESSING ME???
Family, Friends, Spree, Blogshop, Customers, Agent. Im tired!!!

OR ANOTHER CHOICE?? BACK TO ONCE I HAVE NO HP?? SO NO1 CAN CONTACT ME?? Give me some peace!! I appreciate it.