I had predicted!!! My birthday sure nobody come haix... Even the 3 guys who I'm so call "CLOSE" derhx haix... 1 say got friend chalet, another say go for what, but at least another 1 say he will come as he promise he will very long ago so no choice...

then another guy say will come very long long ago... now wanted to comfirm with him and he online but yet DISAPPEAR... i mean msg him in msn no reply... haix... after that i guess... secondary derhx girlfriends also not coming... can understand larhx... i at first Zhong Se Qing You... after break up, they help me by cheering me... then after that... ask me out... i last minute put plane... haix...

now see my list... seems like my friend are so LIMITED!!! haix... if that time i never get into relationship with HIM, i guess i still can be like them having gathering... and also i wont be ANTI-ED!!! and also i wont be like lost everything for that break up... all my dreams, aims, even future, trust, all gone in just one word "BREAK"

im so useless... but nevermind larhx... at least now i wont be bother to worry not enough food... and so i guess... i dont need to buy extra fried food and waste my effort and time to go prepare extra food and messing myself in the kitchen just to worry whether my guest are starving...

i expected very long ago when i was very fan on where to open my party... and planning my birthday i keep thinking of others... WHAT FOR THINKING OF THEM!!! NO ONE APPREATIATE!!! IF IM NOT THE ONE SPOILING FRIENDSHIP, BY KEEP PUTTING PLANE ON THEM!!! MY LIFE WONT BE LIKE THIS!!!WHO TO BLAME NOW?? NO ONE BUT ME MYSELF...

really... i really really want to time travel to the time that i NEVER ACCEPT HIM!!! if not cause of him... i wont lost my "BESTFRIEND" i wont lost my freedom, i wont lost my interest, i wont lost my dreams, my aims, and even the MOST IMPORTANT THING THAT IS PART OF ME!!! and again... WHO TO BLAME!!! OF COURSE IS ME LARHX...

why so stupid... go believe him?? trust him, forgive him and this is what im getting!!! serve me right... think whoever reading this is laughing... why is my life so SUCK siahx... though my life now like very fine to everyone... but who really understand me?? NOBODY!!!

im everyday work and work... after work, go home... at home sit infront my computer... watch n watch my drama i had downloaded... now doing something interesting... open blogshop larhx... also stress myself... then after that leix... nothing else...

seriously... this is my birthday... and i keep thinking of others... scare not convience, scare people not happy... scare this and that... and my relatives and parents say me... "its your birthday, why care for other, stupid" see this... i tio say STUPID AGAIN!!! hahahax... even i myself also feel im like DUM!!!

i really really getting apart from my attitude... i myself also feel like stranger... mind, heart, hands and legs are not funtioning properly... even simple thing also cant do... what if this is my last birthday??? and no one care to come and celebrate for me?? i dont mind if you come empty hand... what i want is... how people think of me?? do they regards me as friends??

i once told my cousin... i very scare not enough food... and i didnt manage to invite all my friends... i invite those who i feel important... then my cousin say... wah mean only VIP can come lorhx... then must show up... so what... now all the so call "FRIENDS" have own business... study derhx study... working derhx working... who bother to remember me as their "FRIENDS" when i say they are to me?? well...

wo kan qing zhe ge shi jie lerhx... i dont want keep having any fear that, i will get backstab or anything... i just carry on my life doing my own thing like nobody business... anyone want say me for typing this post... just say barhx... not happy what i write tell me too... i very welcome you comment... since since nobody care to bother or remember me...

best i just pass away and you were last to know the news... think you also wont regret barhx.. cause im NOBODY!!! think my previous post on dont when... then boring questions are like so true to me liaox...

the question which ask: will you tell anyone or everyone if you are going to die... and guess my answer was right... i will rather go sliently... cause i dont think anyone will feel sad if im dead... cause nothing change if i just gone like that... cause all the while... im just like nobody and not someone who ever know me as a FRIEND!! i wont feel sad of it cause im USED TO IT!!! since primary school... classmates ANTI me... secondary... starting ok ok derhx... then later... lalalalallax... wow... hard to see anyone in fron tof me but ONLY 2 GUYS!!! obviously is the USELESS JERK and 1 of the monsters lorhx... ITE... like nobody business...

nitec that time... right after school... i was like something that just poff... and gone of sight... cause meeting that USELESS JERK... then high nitec... i come in and go... come in and go... interest also start to GONE!!! and after graduated from ITE... working lerhx... one month ONLY!!! my life had a BIG STORM!!! and my life got even LONELY... if not c\that break up cause me to loose trust on people...

i dont think i will start drifting myself apart from people who actually trying to help me and get close to me... course im really really scare of getting hurt again... i really hope my so call "FRIENDS" can understand... this is my first relationship... and it last me so long... as those who know me... this relationship was like sunny and stormy day... and in the end he hurt me so much... and so... first experience i tio so badly... of cos... i never trust anyone... this world so scary... i dont want to say much...

just spread to whoever reading my post... 3rd may, saturday... i will be having my 21st Birthday at my house... you wan come... come at 5/6pm till next day if you want to stay... if not just wash your brain... forget about having me as your friend barhx...

i only care about MYSELF... if want me care or think of you as a FRIEND... you show me how you treat me first barhx... i had change... i dont care liaox... lost a friend or two is not just today derhx thing... it happen almost EVERYDAY and EVERYWHERE!!! im used to be aloner liaox... go watch "Zhe Li Yu Jian Ai" by zaizai, zhu xiao tian, wang chung yi, and other i dont know their name... my 1 part of life is like zai zai lolx... aloner hahhahx... buaix... im bored of telling much... BLAH!!!