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//Sweet diary
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Its been 1mth + ever since i strt wrk nvr contact him n lately ask him 4 a movie n he fall aslp durin e show n im reali sad n angry... most of his time wib his wrk n fren n nvr show concern abt miie nw he say he no feelin 4 miie which reali hurts miie... 2 more wks juz TWO MORE WEEKS!!! is our 5yrs anninversary... n nw its impossible 4 us tuu celebrate tgt as im sure he will nt show up tuu go out wib miie as he wan tuu leave miie... i ask him whether he still love miie anot. his reply is he dun dare tuu say cos he scare he might regret again... n hop i can hlp him!!! i tot he mean tt i hlp him tuu hab feelin 4 miie bt he juz told miie e meanin is hlp him leave miie... im reali hurt again... im sure ppl tt told miie tuu leave him in past n yet im so sturborn n trust him n get back tuu him will say tt it serve miie rite o say i deserve it... i noe im stupid bt e feelin in my heart reali cant help tuu gib up... i hab no choice if onli possible is i DIE!!! i try so hard juz tuu understand him bt everytime i try he chg n chg tt he chg tuu sum1 tt i reali cant recognise anymore... wad had i done?? y do god punish miie? y dun juz let miie end my life den hurtin my heart so so much??? Y?? i reali cant take it anymore... its reali hurtin miie... i trust him so much n y i get tis?? though i check his inbox in email n frenster cos im gettin veri scare... i hab no choice bt tuu check wad happen... im so stupid... y i love him so deep when i told myself nt tuu... y i get tis??? y??? i reali cannot tak it... i wish i can go sum whr wib no1 onli miie... every1 beside miie gettin in my way... i feel preassure n stress... i dun wan go councilin i juz wan tuu b alone... i dun wan pressure n stress... y cant i hab a warm hug n love?? my family, frens, every1, wrk n even e 1 i love most n trust most hurt miie... he's always thr when i nid him... bt nw he always bz wib his fren n totally chg n 4gt abt miie... n nw he say no feelin... im reali nt fit tuu stay in tis whole wib failures... i dun hab capable thing n im bad n suay at all e thing i had n done... even relationship which goin 5yrs!!! had tuu end... everything is so sudden... i reali cant take it anymore... its best tt i left nw dan ltr... guess tis is e punishment by e god 4 wad i had done in e past life... tts y nw im in tis state... since its nt endin y nt i end myself... Sha Is DEAD Forever!!!
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